


Martin Gets A Girlfriend

by orphan_account



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: F/M, Humour, Martin will never have a girlfriend, shameless teasing of Martin, sorry Martin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-12
Updated: 2012-07-12
Packaged: 2017-11-09 19:25:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our beloved Captain, Martin Crieff, finds himself in the unusual position of having a girlfriend. Unfortunately, things aren't quite as they seem. Ah, well, Martin - Better luck next time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Martin Gets A Girlfriend

"Ah, Douglas!" said Martin in a chirpy voice, entering the flight deck, "Good day, isn't it?"

"What's got you in such a good mood?" asked Douglas suspiciously, "Baked potato for dinner?"

"No,  _actually,_  I have some  _very_ good news."

"Go on."

" _I_ have a  _girlfriend._ "

"I think we have a very different definition of  _good news_ , Martin. Are you  _sure_ she's not a figment of your imagination?"

"Yes, Douglas, I am."

"What's happening, Skip?" asked Arthur, coming in.

"I'm just telling Douglas here some good news."

"Good news?"

"Yes, Arthur.  _I've_  got a girlfriend."

"That's brilliant, Skip! Is she real?"

" _Yes,_  Arthur."

"You have yet to prove that, Martin," said Douglas.

" _No_ , I  _don't_."

" _Yes_ , you  _do_."

" _Fine_ , then, I'll introduce you."

"I look forward to it."

"Douglas," said Martin as they left the plane that evening, "Come with me, I think there's someone you'd like to meet."

"Ah, would this be the elusive  _girlfriend_?"

"Yes,  _actually_."

"Amazing. Where is she, then?"

"We've arranged to meet in-" Martin checked his watch "-10 minutes at that café down the road."

"You'd better hurry up, then."

"I  _am._ Come on."

Douglas followed Martin in amused silence to the café, where a beautiful young woman with dark hair and tanned skin smiled at Martin, walked over to him, and kissed him on the cheek. Douglas had to assume, unwillingly, that  _this_ was Martin's girlfriend.

"Douglas," said Martin, turning back towards him, "This is Aikaterini. Aikaterini, this is my First Officer, Douglas Richardson."

"Nice to meet you," said Aikaterini with a thick accent.

"Likewise. That's an unusual name, where's it from?"

"I am from Greece," she replied, smiling shyly.

"How  _fascinating._  And when did you move to England?"

"A few days ago," supplied Martin.

"About when you met Martin, then?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

" _Interesting._ "

"Oh, shut up, Douglas."

"Of course,  _sir._ "

Martin glowered at Douglas silently for a moment.

"So, A-Ai-Aik-" attempted Douglas.

"Aikaterini," said Martin.

"Quite.  _Anyway_ , how did you meet our Martin?"

"He was flying me to England. I thought he was... how you say?... very nice."

" _Did_  you?  _Helpful_ , was he?"

"Yes, he was," she said, smiling.

" _I wonder why._ "

" _Douglas._ "

"Yes, well,  _nice to meet you._ "

"And goodbye," said Martin firmly, " _We're_ going out to dinner."

"Am I not invited? I'm hurt."

"It was nice to meet you," said Aikaterini.

Douglas left, an expression of astonishment lingering on his face.

"Post take-off checks completed," said Douglas.

"Thank you, Douglas," replied Martin.

"And how is Aikaterini today?"

"She's  _fine_."

"Still hanging in there?"

" _Yes._ "

"I'm astonished."

"Douglas."

"Although, I think I might have figured out  _why_ exactly she's chosen  _you_."

"I don't want to know."

"Really? It's very good."

"You're wrong. Whatever it is, you're wrong."

"I don't think I am."

"Yes, well, you are."

"I'm really not. In fact, I'm almost certainly not."

"Douglas. Shut up."

"You see, Martin, Aikaterini isn't exactly who you thought she was."

"I don't want to know, Douglas."

"I think you really do. After all, I looked her up the other day, and, well, you'd be amazed at what I found."

"You're making this up. You didn't find  _anything_."

"If you  _really_ think so."

"Yes, I do."

"So,  _Martin_ , how was your  _date_  last night?"

" _Fine._  Why?"

"Oh, no reason. Was Aikaterini  _very_  interested in your job?"

"Yes, actually. She was."

"And was she  _particularly_ interested in  _certain_ aspects?"

"Well, I suppose so."

"Like, for instance, your  _salary_?"

"I... Well... Ah... She... I guess..."

"So I was right."

"About what? You never actually told me your  _theory_."

"Oh. So I didn't. Would you like me to share now?"

"Go on, then," Martin sighed.

"You see, our pretty Greek friend is  _very_ interested in men with high salaries. Men with high salaries who end up mysteriously dead shortly after meeting her, leaving everything to her."

" _Ah._ "

" _Exactly._  And as an  _airline captain_ , you would be expected to have one of these  _high salaries._ "

"... Yes."

"And she might be very  _disappointed_ to find you don't leave her very much when you eventually pass away."

"Um... I... Yes."

"So you might just want to clear up the  _delicate_ matter of your salary with her  _pretty quickly._ "

"Er, yes, I... I'll do that."

"Did you tell her, then?" asked Douglas.

"Yes, actually, I did," replied Martin, sounding morose.

"And?"

"She became very... uninterested in me."

"What did I tell you?"

"Yes, Douglas, I know," Martin sighed.

"Well, there's no need to look so upset about it. I  _believe_ I may have just  _saved_ your life."

"Yes, thanks a lot," replied Martin sarcastically.

"Oh, you're not seriously saying you'd rather have a girlfriend than your life."

"Well, not exactly, but still... It was nice, you know. While it lasted."

"Ah, well, I'm sure you'll find someone eventually."

"Really?"

"Not in the slightest."

 


End file.
